In the world today, there are three main schools of thought coming from three different methods of information gathering. As a result, you are either well informed, a name caller or hiding in your mother’s basement with a tin foil hat prepping for the apocalypse.

When you figure out which one you are, you can figure out what your friends and family are. They either have it figured out, or you have it figured out, and they are in the basement.

In that case, you can prank-call them and tell them helicopters flying by are monitoring them. We’ll sort it all out today, on The Big Re-think.