All parents hope that their children will be able to grow up comfortably, achieve good results at school, and be successful in their future careers. There is no formula to grooming an elite child, who can be successful. However psychologists have discovered that a child’s success in adulthood will depend greatly on the education that he receives from his parents at home. And if parents adhere to the following habits, their children can be predictably successful.
The U.S. education system has studied parents with successful children and often they have these 10 common characteristics.
1. Teaching children to do housework
“If the child does not know how to wash dishes, it means that there is someone doing it for them,” said Julie Lythcott-Haims, former head of the Freshman Department at Stanford University and co-author of the book “How To Raise An Adult,” who spoke at the TED Talks Live event.
She continued, “Therefore, they will not only have to give up, but also will not be able to learn two things: there is a lot of work to be done; and each one of us needs to contribute to society.”
Lythcott-Haims believes that children who know how to do housework will become people that can interact well with colleagues, live more sympathetically because they understand how difficult and harsh challenges will be, and they can work independently. This conclusion was drawn based on the famous “Harvard Grant Study”—which began in 1951 and was a lengthy study.
She held that “Doing tasks like emptying the trash and folding their own clothes will help children understand that work is an integral part of life.”
2. Teaching children the ability to communicate with people
Researchers from Pennsylvania State University and Duke University have tracked and investigated more than 700 children across the United States between the age of preschool and age 25. They discovered the link between children’s communication skills at preschool and their success in adulthood.
This 20-year study shows that children who possess good communication skills would cooperate well with friends and colleagues. They know how to empathize and help others and solve problems on their own. And they are very likely to earn a college degree as well as get a job at the age of 25. While children who are unable to form good relationships or communicate are more likely to be unemployed and commit crimes.
Kristin Schubert, director of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation stated “The research also shows that equipping children with interpersonal and and communication skills is one of the crucial factors that we can do to help children get a better, more successful future.”
3. Set high expectations for their children
According to survey data of 6,600 children born in 2001, professor Neal Halfon (University of California) and colleagues discovered that expectations that parents set for their children have a great impact on the future success of their children.
“Parents who expect their children to go to college will still help them achieve this goal even if their family’s finances are limited.” Survey results found that among the group of children that performed poorly, only 57 percent were expected to attend university; while this number is 96 percent among the group of children with the best performance.
This phenomenon is called the Pygmalion Effect or “expected effect,” the phenomenon whereby others’ expectations of a target person affect the target person’s performance. Especially for young children, when they are high expectations to perform, they will make very good progress.
4. Parents have a good relationship with each other
Children living in a family with parents who are constantly in bickering and quarreling, whether they are divorced or not, tend to fail in their development when compared to children raised in a family with happy parents. Robert Hughes Jr., a professor and head of human and community development at the University of Illinois, has conducted research and came to the conclusion: Children who live happily with a single parent have a better future than those who live in a family where parents are frequently in conflict.
He also said that the conflicts of parents before a divorce have an inevitable negative impact on their children. But after a divorce, if the relationship between the parents is more amicable, the child will develop better.
5. Having a relatively high level of education
Since 2014, University of Michigan’s psychologist Sandra Tang has studied and found that mothers who have completed high school or college can raise their children to the same educational achievements.
A study from 1998 to 2007 on 14,000 children who started preschool found that young children whose mothers gave birth during adolescence (under 18 years old) were less likely to finish high school or university than other children.
In 2009, a report on the results of a long-term study on 856 people in both urban and rural areas in New York, carried out by psychologist Eric Dubow at Bowling Green State University stated that the educational level of parents when children of age 8 relates significantly to children’s education and success 40 years later.
(To be continued)